She Built Her Life Around Being an ‘NFL Wife.’ After Her Partner's Retirement, She Went Through an ‘Identity Crisis’ (Exclusive)
- - She Built Her Life Around Being an ‘NFL Wife.’ After Her Partner's Retirement, She Went Through an ‘Identity Crisis’ (Exclusive)
Zoey LyttleJanuary 23, 2026 at 8:00 AM
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Jasmatia Schaefering
Jasmatia Schaefering. -
Jasmatia Schaefering enjoyed the perks of the NFL wife lifestyle when she was married to a football player, but her life changed drastically after her then-husband retired
The mom of four filed for divorce in June 2024, though she still supports and helps her ex as he manages his brain injuries and CTE precursors
Jasmatia details the types of financial, medical and personal issues that can arise once removed from the glamorous world of professional football
Jasmatia Schaefering is peeling back the notions of glitz and glamour associated with the NFL wife lifestyle by sharing the realities of her own experience.
When her husband played in the pro league, Jasmatia did enjoy what she dubs the "perks" of being on the sidelines of the NFL. "It was so much fun, and it was a great time. You get to meet so many famous people," she tells PEOPLE.
Jasmatia, now 40, adds that she always made a point to "take advantage of the network" and speak to as many people as she could in those environments. But she also remembers feeling stuck in a "high school type of culture, where certain people are grouped up and if you're not in the group with the labels and stuff, then you're kicked to the side."
Jasmatia Schaefering
Jasmatia Schaefering.
"I don't operate that way. I'm very much a humble girl," she says. "No matter what I have, I'm going to stay grounded."
But the real hardships set in after her then-husband's career wrapped up. In retirement, he got to keep the glory of his accomplishments, but Jasmatia felt as though she left everything behind along with the NFL. She lost friends, because it was hard to keep in touch with the partners of other players with whom she'd built relationships.
It was the ultimate "identity crisis," as Jasmatia explains over a decade later. "My title was 'NFL wife,' and after the veil is removed, it's like, 'Well, what have you done for yourself? Who are you now?'"
However, Jasmatia didn't have the space to become someone other than an NFL wife and stay-at-home mom to her four kids, at least not at first. Shortly after he retired, her husband was diagnosed with brain damage and precursors for chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), which Mayo Clinic defines as a "brain disease likely caused by repeated head injuries."
The illness is characterized by a degeneration of nerve cells in the brain, and it gets worse over time. CTE can only be definitively diagnosed after death, during a brain autopsy, per Mayo Clinic.
Jasmatia became his caretaker. She dedicated years to learning about the brain and about disability benefits, and she taught their four kids — who are now ages 22, 19, 18 and 11 — everything they needed to know about their father's health and condition.
"I researched what helps prolong the brain, what helps grow back the neurons and all of the things to try to rebuild what you could," Jasmatia recalls. "It turned out that food helps a lot, but cannabis helps more. When I learned all of this, I educated everybody. I had a family meeting with charts and paperwork and YouTube [videos] pulled up."
Jasmatia Schaefering
Jasmatia Schaefering with one of her four kids.
With the right treatment, she watched her then-husband stop stuttering as much and start playing with their children again. The family learned how to best handle his emotional highs and lows, and while he still struggles in certain areas, Jasmatia describes the differences in his behavior like "day and night."
In June 2024, she filed for divorce, ending their marriage of nearly two decades. Jasmatia has continued to support and look after her ex, but she also started caring for herself. She currently works at a large communications company, and she's going back to school to eventually become a product manager.
The life of an NFL player's partner — or "WAG," as they're colloquially called, an acronym for "wives and girlfriends" — is glamorized in many ways, but these days it appears most on social media. Women in relationships with pro football players build brands and online personalities around their association with the sport.
When Jasmatia comes across that type of content, she says doesn't necessarily feel anger, but she feels compelled to raise awareness and "fight for some sort of change."
Jasmatia Schaefering
Jasmatia Schaefering.
"Especially in the beginning, when things are coming along and your man's getting drafted, you're so excited ... You're nervous, but you're just like, 'Oh, my God. This life is about to be so great,'" Jasmatia recounts. "Then you get into the life, and it's like, 'What the hell is this?'"
Financial issues pose some of the most untold problems retired football pros and their families face, according to Jasmatia. She's seen how a lot of players can end up bankrupt as soon as five or so years after they finish on the field.
"It happens fast. If you are not financially intelligent and aware of yourself financially, it can happen so fast that a million dollars might as well be $100,000 or just $10,000; it's gone," she says.
While many players are certainly paid a sizable income, Jasmatia maintains that it can be harder than it seems to save up for retirement.
"They get taxed really big. Almost 50 percent of their check is gone right away. Then they have agents to pay. They have managers to pay. If they have a PR team, they have to pay them. If they have a legal team, they have to pay them. If they have a financial team, they have to pay them," she details.
"Then you have to worry about maintenance, suits, your shoes, clothes, outfits, your physical care, and then going places, and then taking care of your family and your bills. It flies," she continues. "That's why I tell people all the time — I meet a lot of rookie wives and all this other stuff — 'Start your financial planning now. You have to be careful who you trust with your finances.'"
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Plus, NFL insurance plans only last so long after retirement, says Jasmatia, which becomes a huge hurdle for men who require serious healthcare like her ex.
"They have all of these medical issues now that a lot of doctors — if they're not sports doctors that are really good — they don't know what to do," she explains. "You get surgery and it doesn't heal right. Now you don't walk right. Your back is hurting even more. It's craziness."
If she can impart any piece of advice to current WAGs, Jasmatia urges them not to wait to build and pursue their own projects. "If I could go back in time, that is probably the biggest thing that I would redo," she shares. "Go to school, build a career. Do not forget yourself at all."
on People
Source: “AOL Entertainment”
